|day... 12. holy shit
||[Jan. 27th, 2008|09:37 pm]
A really neat article about a book on natural architecture (click photo). That book is for sure going on my wish list.
And now for something completely different:
UGH I AM SO FRUSTRATED!
I've been slowly slipping into bad eating habits again, and the motivation to supress them isn't coming. I'm still eating healthier than I used to, today being better, but friday and saturday were not very good. And now I feel really down about it. Feeling like a failure really sucks.
Ok I have had some rough patches. I need to pull up my bootstraps and perservere dammit! Not knowing whether I've lost weight or not is also really bothering me. I'm going to see my mom sometime this week (hopefully) but that may not happen as I have a midterm and a big quiz this week and school work is more important than seeing a number.
extreme long string of swear words I'm debating going to the gym right now more so for emotional release than calorie burning. I'm really really frustrated with myself, and having no one to really vent to except for a screen isn't doing much. I can't even vent to my boyfriend because I have too much pride, not to mention I'm not 100% on our status (we're together but I'm certainly not in love nor falling into it, but yea he's really good in bed and I like spending time with him, so it's more than friends with bens but less than a real relationship). The only person I'd be comfortable breaking down in front of is my mom, and I've already talked to her today and she's in a shit mood.
cool. Hating this.
why did I have to become overweight in the first place? THERE WAS A TIME.
unfourtunatly that's all past.
So, the moral of the rant is I need to stop:
A) feeling sorry for myself
B) eating shit food when I'm not hungry
C) feeling sorry for myself
Tomorrow I'm waking up at 6 to start running because I promised this would be that week I started, so I have to go to bed asap if I want my 8 hours.
Tomorrow I'm eating well.
Tomorrow I'm feeling good about myself.
Tomorrow is going to be fucking great.